O-Bitch-Uary: a humorous toast or roast

An O-Bitch-Uary can be used to celebrate a loved one with humour or as a roast for a retirement or birthday gift.

Consider an O-Bitch-Uary to honour a friend or family member, especially if you’re ever read the obituary of someone you know and thought, seriously?

Sure, they had their good qualities, but you have to wonder why was there no mention of her obsession with shoes — or that fact he loved his dog more than he cared about most people? That’s where an O-Bitch-Uary can help, particularly for a celebration of life.

It was at such a celebration a few years ago, when I told a story about how my friend and I had always obsessed over our hair, from using henna to get that brilliant red look, to dying it purple, to wearing it spiked during our punk days. But I never forgot the day that, after I had gotten what I thought was a particularly trendy cut, her only remark to me was, “Oh, you got a haircut.” Her lack of any other comment spoke volumes, but she and I laughed about how rude she was that day for years to come. That was one of the O-Bitch-Uary style stories I told at her celebration of life and even her mom laughed because it was so her.

It’s those laugh-out-loud memories I want to help you share with friends and family after a loved one is gone. The way I see it is, humans are, well human, and with that comes the good, the bad and the humorous.

A favourite O-Bitch-Uary of mine is one written by the son of a woman named Margaret Marilyn DeAdder, which had me in stitches as he wrote about his mother’s serious dislike of facial hair and the fact she was a “self-described Queen Bitch.”

The son caught his mother’s character so well, it was almost like I knew her. This was one obituary which, rather than ending up the bottom of a bird cage, was saved and shared by many.

But, then I thought, why wait until a loved one has passed on to share these great stories? Does your best friend have a significant birthday coming up? Is your husband, wife or boss retiring? Is there a party in Vegas you’ll be attending for the bride or groom? Let me help you create an epic living O-Bitch-Uary they won’t soon forget.

Another use for an O-Bitch-Uary is to get something off your chest, something you’ve never had the nerve to say out loud.

Looking for a gift for the person who has everything? Surprise them with an O-Bitch-Uary they’ll never forget.